Reading

For the last two years I have been in burnout and really struggling to deal with day to day life or get anything done. After 10 years my PhD thesis, the thing that had given me motivation {particularly motivation to procrastinate} and fed my anxiety so that I pushed on, was over. I also began taking anti-anxiety meds, so the fear I’d lived with most of my life and that kept me achieving was gone and ADHD was free to play and lead me to look at my life and understand how much it’s impacted me.

What I found that I could do was read, so read I did. I read what are, to me, ‘easy’ and ‘light’ books, I’ve read a shit ton of contemporary romance and I’ve enjoyed it a lot. But, I have been reading too much, last year I read 260 books, I need to slow down and my brain finally feels ready for some more depth, I have loads of non-fiction and books about Buddhism that are just waiting.

I normally read on my Kindle which adds to my speed, it always takes longer to read physical books. The picture above is of my physical to be read shelf. If I can’t get a book on Kindle I look for a cheap used deal and pick it up. Now I need to read them. There are 117 books in that photo. I’ve read 2 so far and am well into a 3rd. Part of my brain is lamenting that I’ve read so little this month, but it also feels good to be starting to clear the shelf.

I don’t keep books, I probably have 10-15 that I really loved and have held onto, everything else gets read and then donated so someone else can read it for cheap. I’m looking forward to the shelf gradually emptying, and hoping to avoid buying more. When I first decided to try and clear the shelf my brain went into scarcity mode and I bought 20 more books….

I’ll try and remember to keep updating how I’m doing, My to be read books on my Kindle are a whole other issue, but one thing at a time!